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HOLY COW wedding planning when it is your own wedding is way different than helping a friend. It has been fun but their are so many choices. I will keep you posted on decisions made.

WOW it has been a busy month. I have finished school, gone on a 7 day vacation with Tony to South Dakota and started a new job. It has been a mouth of growth and learning. I have discovered that people change and that it is ok. I have also learned that God only gives you things you can handle. I have also learned that a week with no distractions is a great way to develop a relationship. It is good to put away the phone, computer and other modern technology and just focus on each other.

I went swimming this morning, which is normally a great time for me to pray and talk to God, but I am having a hard time staying focused. I feel like my thoughts are everywhere. I feel like when you are talking to a friend and they are not really listening, I think that is what I am doing to God. It is not that I don't want to listen, I am just having a hard time staying focused. I think I am going to have to set aside some time to read my bible and to pray. I hope meeting with Bill will help.

What a great weekend. Friday Tony made homemade meatballs and we had dinner and watched a movie. It was a relaxing way to start the weekend. On Saturday I had breakfast with my parents, then helped my nephew make a costume for his living zoo project at school. After that I took a nap and helped around the house with a few things. Then we all went to Linda Hall's graduation party. It was a lot of fun. We roasted hot dogs and had smore's. Tony experienced his first Mid West Bonfire. Sunday for Mother's Day and lots of birthdays we celebrated with family and BBQ. After lunch we played games and talked.

I am going to meet with Bill for my last bible study this week and am really sad. I don't want this study to end but am looking forward as my journey starts a new chapter.

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Dear Father in heaven, forgive my lack of belief. Forgive me for allowing Satan to deceive me or make me think I’m worthless or unworthy of Your miracles. I am worthy because You made me worthy. You are the God of the impossible, and I ask You to help me wait on You and never give up. In the name of Jesus Christ my Lord, I pray. Amen.

I must pray to God and agree with his plans, not plan and then pray to God that he will make it work. It is his will, not mine.

Also I must pray and keep my armor on at all times. The enemy is always trying to play on my self esteem and my desire to eat food to make me feel good and to slove problems. I know God only wants good for my life and I must not allow the devil to mislead me.

What a weekend. On Friday I went with my parents and Bill's son, and my nephews to dinner and and to the movie. It was a dumb movie but a lot of fun. Then on Saturday, I went to work at the YMCA and then to Tony's. We went to the Candy Factory and then to a few shops downtown Columbia. Tony bought his mom Chocolate Pizza and I bought a new Mizzou Tee Shirt from Tiger Spirit. On Sunday we were true tourist and went to Jefferson City to the Capital and then Ice Cream with my friend Molly at Central Dairy.

Then on Sunday night, we got a phone call that my sister's brother in-law was in the hospital due to a car accident. My sister, her husband and I all went to the hospital. I had the opportunity to help interpret for my sister, and was able to see how other families with deaf children act. It was a learning process and I feel closer to my brother in-law and my sister.

Well I may have another destination wedding in my future. My friend Melissa is getting married in Cozumel, Mexico. I am really thinking destination wedding is the way to go. I have been to 17 countries, yet never to Mexico. I really hope it works out for me to go. I will have to take 2 vacation days from my new job, but I think it will be worth it!

I am also hoping Tony will be able to go. I think it will be a relaxing nice trip for the both of us. I am a little nervous, with the cut in pay from my new job I hope it will all work out for me to afford to go. I have not booked a flight yet, but hope to do so soon.

As for other things in my life, I have my last week of Bible study next week. It has been such an amazing journey. I hope to continue to meet with Bill and have my relationship with God grow.

As for other news, I have been using a lot of sick days with my mom this week. We though she had a pinched nerve, but really she has torn her rotateor cuff. It is going to be a long recovery. I am glad she is not working summer school this summer and pray she will make it through the long recovery process. She has a lot of love and support behind her. From this experience though I have learned how hard it is to watch someone you love in pain. I also learned there are a lot of great people out there and family should always come first. My school, the doctors, Tony and my Friends have been great.

I also saw this week that sometimes you have to put your own life on hold (or get up really early to take care of things, or take meds when you don't feel good) to help the ones you love. I also learned trust. When someone says they can do it and take care of it, they will. I also saw how appreciative people can be when you help them out (giving rides or filling in for shifts at 5:30am) And yet we should all do these kind of things for everyone each day. It feels good and it doesn't take much time out of our days, (and if you need to you can always take a nap when it is over!)

I thought that once you knew God things would be hard and he would always be testing you. But it is so not true. I have realized today my purpose it to have a relationship with God. If I get to witness to others great, but I must believe and build my relationship with God. That is all. I do not need to stress my self out, just honor God.

He is good and opens doors when it is time. His timing is perfect, just obey. I never thought I would be able to obey someone and not know the whole picture, but with His love I can. I also realize I have never had a great friend, and like Jonah I often run before things get hard. I must work on my relationship with God and the rest will be open doors. If if there are hard times, I have God with me always.

Also Wednesday morning I went for an early morning run/walk with my dog and watch an amazing sunrise. GOD IS AMAZING!!

Wow what a week. I have gone from having no idea what my future holds to having a job that I am so excited about. I will start the public relations position at the Chamber in Callaway County on June 1st. It is my dream job. I am going to get to use my PR degree and help at risk students with a mentor program. It is the best of both worlds.

It is amazing the things that have happened and how much I have grown in my relationship with God, my sister, my friends, my parents and Tony over the past six months. Who would have ever believed I would be excited about a new job with way less money and longer hours. But I am and I have peace in my heart about the decisions I have made. Although my journey has been full of hurt and disappointment, but it has been worth it. I also have learned that my journey ahead will have bumps but God will only give me what I with Him can handle. It really will be a Journey.

2 Corinthians 5:17 (New International Version)
17Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

Well, I had a weekend of growing and learning. I spent the weekend having to be quiet and sign for 24 hours. It was a learning process. It helped to bring me and my sister closer. I really did not want to go, and actually thought about turning around at the top of the hill, but I went. It was a great experience. My sister actually had the chance to care for me. Also I learned why it is so my easier for her to ask me for a favor then to try to communicate with those who do not know how to sign. I also learned more about the deaf culture and how it feels to not be able to fully communicate. I also saw my brother in-law in a new light. I think I found an area where he has a gift.



I also find out about a job at 3:30 today. I hope this will eliminate some stress, although I am starting to learn stress is caused by all kinds of things. The enemy included. It is all around and we must continue to pray to remove it. Also we must pray to help others find good.


This week in bible study I really was frustrated because I did not think I gained all there was to learn, but yet I had. It was really clear and there was no reading between the lines. Also I learned that we all have gifts given to us by God and we must use them for his propose. And there is a reason all of our gifts are different. If we all were the same and all had the same gifts we could not build each other up in His name. Thank you all to everyone who supported and prayed for me this weekend.

I don't always want to do what I have to do....

What is it that when we are asked to do something we don't want to, but if no one ask it is ok?

Why is submitting so hard?